Is Marriage entirely proportional to maturity of the brain?
If so, what measures should be pondered to assess the maturity of the cerebrum? This is a nagging question suffered by youngsters and equally well by the parents who are in search for a rightful bride or groom for their children. But the attitudes of the youngsters will obviously differ from the parents towards this question. It is simply because the above two contentions have always been lingering right from the time our society became matured enough to think on the subject. In the Indian context, we find a larger part of our society favoring the age of 20 to be the perfect age to marry whereas the changing wind of the mind of the youth does not agree to it. Let us first focus on the basic contentions hold by both of them;
- Parents: They strongly hold that the children should get married at an early age as it would make them realise the responsibility.
- Youth: They strongly hold on impliedly or sometimes expressly that they should have an opportunity to decide their destiny, the partner with whom they have to spend their whole life. They are sometimes found uncomfortable to accept someone as a life partner whom they do not know completely.
This paradox is obvious to exist there. Do you know we don’t grow absolutely? We become an expert in one dimension of life yet childish in another realm for years. And this is true for every living creature without any exception. This is perhaps one of the reasons why this paradox exists.
On one hand, there would be oceans of experience that lead the elders to choose the bride or groom while on the other hand, it is the education, feel of freedom, dreams, ambitions, earning and above all the professional influence in the case of the youth to decide about marriageable age. Hence, it is inevitable to set a yardstick for this decision. In fact, there should not be any rigidity in respect of the age. However, the person who is going to marry should be capable enough to ascertain the consequences of his/her decision. Here, the wisdom of the experience should be sought by the person.
Another point that we can take into consideration is the social changes that have taken place in the last few decades in India. For example, individual freedom, education, vast career opportunities etc. have made today’s youth more thoughtful than ever. Hence the parents need to trust, appreciate and accept the bolts and nuts of maturity found today in the youth. The scenario is that parent’s role should not be there to decide the age but to assist the youth in taking the decisions forgetting the age. Before we conclude let us have a look at some realities.
- Data from authentic surveys show that there is a decline in the percentage of girls who got married before the age of 18.
- Most of the today’s girls do not want themselves shut in the four walls of the kitchen and they too want to explore the areas of business.
- There are no any 100% full-proof guiding principles or rules setting an ideal standard for marriage age.
- A general grapevine implies that there should be an ideal combination of great career, good husband/wife and a helping hand in respect of earning.
- There are still families in our societies who do not approve a working woman.
- Most of the today’s educated generation want their privacy, independence, and space even after marriage.
- The youth are focussed on their clear-cut plans for development and better lifestyle.
Apart from these few facts, there is much more which can be added. In fact, men who marry later are found to be financially stable but may prove emotionally unripe due to getting lousy at making the compromises that form the foundation for contingency in the moments of rough spots. Possessing an elaborate level of multi-disciplinary training, boys and girls of today delay marriage also out of fear of failure and even try to enjoy the single life for a time being. Modern generation has probably absorbed this saying without expressing in a verbose manner-
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”